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Rotten Day At Work

Wednesday, January 31, 2001

I had a rather lousy day today. I was supposed to be in a meeting that started at 3 p.m. but the marketing guy coming in wasn't able to get to our office until 4:45 p.m. One thing that really pissed me off is WHY THE HELL WOULDN'T YOU JUST RESCHEDULE FOR THE NEXT DAY??? Why torture everyone and come in at the end of the damn work day? So I didn't get out of the fucking meeting until 7:30 and I didn't get home until 9 tonight. If it was just me and the marketing guy involved in the meeting, it likely would have lasted less than an hour. Unfortunately, our meetings run so long because my boss absolutely LOVES the sound of his own voice. He goes on and on and on, constantly repeating himself. Tonight I wanted to rip his tongue out of his head.

I was so stressed out by the time I got home that I fished the 1/2 bottle of rum out from the back of my fridge, it's been there since my sister's wedding shower about two years ago, because I hate rum. Despite that, I threw a nice big shot in my pepsi. Now I'm mellow.

Still, I plan on going into work late tomorrow morning - on purpose.

No time for the old in-out, love. I've just come to read the meter

Sunday, January 28, 2001

horrorshow Far be it from me to be immune to a trend. All the cool kids are making these so-called "troopers," so I just had to have one. For some odd reason, this cartoon baby looks frighteningly like a droog from Stanley Kubrick's A Clockwork Orange, doesn't he?ultraviolent Click on the little cartoon of me at the left to make your own trooper, or click on Alex and his droogs to visit an online store from the UK which is ripping off the movie to flog high-priced clothing from such lines as Tommy Hilfiger, FCUK and Diesel. I remember my older brother trying to get to me read the Anthony Burgess book when I was nine or ten but it was a bit over my head, even with the NADSAT Glossary his edition had in the back. I don't think recent editions feature the glossary, but you can find anything online these days. Viddy well, oh my brothers.

Nitwit Networks

I cannot believe the garbage on TV tonight because the stupid superbowl is on. All the other networks are putting crap on because they think 99% of the population is watching the stupid superbowl. CityTV has a football movie on - and for who I ask??? Anyone interested in football is watching, I repeat, the stupid superbowl.

OK, I admit it, I'm flicking back and forth to it occasionally but only to see when it's going to end. I'm waiting for Survivor II to debut. I'm hoping it'll be good but I can't imagine it without Richard (see our Rich Bitch page) or Rudy! Plus, CBS is plugging it so much it almost sickens me - almost. I can't resist these reality TV shows.


I don't know what you're complaining about, Rebecca. I'm watching Trauma: Life in the ER, and it's been full of severed legs, heroin overdoses and an abused seven-month-old boy whose father will hopefully have a new asshole torn for him in prison.

If you're tired of television, try visiting Gentle Ben's Webgrave
How goth can you get?

Boobus Delecti

Friday, January 26, 2001

Finally, a site mentioned by Stile to which I can relate: badassbreastfeedingbabes.org The only downside to being a breastfeeding mom has been that my infant son is constantly trying to feel up other women. He's pretty smooth about too, but gets disappointed when they don't offer to pop their nipple in his mouth. Hopefully, they'll be a bit more accommodating when he becomes an adult.

click the thumbnail for a larger pictureOn a serious note (just visit our gallery if this is too much for you), a lot of sick puppies out there are disgusted by breastfeeding. I've heard mother's milk compared to urine of all things. While most kids his age suffer endless ear infections, runny noses and colds, my kid has only been sick once in his life when he caught the flu from Rebecca.

Plus he can unhook my bra quicker than I can! That kid is going to be pretty popular when he gets older.

Had An Ex Lately? No Thanks

Monday, January 22, 2001

When my ex-boyfriend called me at work today and invited me out to dinner I thought: "What the hell, a free meal!" So I went and everything was pleasant. I ate, had two beers (no, not Ex!) then he drove me home. I almost kissed him goodnight, but only because I think I have a cold and I figured if anyone deserves a cold it's him. Instead I smiled and said goodnight and went upstairs to my condo.

About a half hour later my phone rings and it's him. I pick up the phone, say hello and he says: "If you'd invited me upstairs tonight (for sex of course), I would have come up." Oh Really? No kidding - I mean, what man wouldn't come upstairs for sex if he was offered it?!

As usual, I hung up the phone and laughed at his expense. He made my Monday.

We've Been Censored

Sunday, January 21, 2001

My nipple is offensive. Yours is too, unless you are a man. At least according to Topsites it is.

I got an email from burn of the Denied top 100 list this evening. Apparently Topsites has a policy against nudity, so I had to remove this button or else the whole list could get shut down. I don't blame burn for this at all. He was very nice about the whole thing, and hopes to soon move the list to his own server where he doesn't have to censor himself, or others.

I blame Topsites. They don't give a shit about content: only appearances. It doesn't matter if sites advertise "animal sex films" or "hot lesbian action" to get hits, as long as they don't show it on their banners. They're using the easy way to monitor their lists. And as a result, an innocent little nipple is being discriminated against.

So why is a nipple so offensive to Topsites? It's just blatant stupidity on their part. I can understand them banning porn banners to protect children whose parents can't be bothered to do it themselves. But a nipple? Would they be offended by the tiny sculpted penis on Michelangelo's David? How about a breastfeeding mom on a banner for an attached parenting list?

I suppose those are offensive, while a bikini-clad babe with a monkey face is perfectly fine. Don't get me wrong. I don't believe in censorship and I'm not bothered by porn. What other sites do is none of my business. I just loathe hypocrisy.

I'm not offended at all by nudity. Mind you I live in Ontario, where I have the right to walk around topless in public without getting arrested, thanks to Gwen Jacobs. I also have the right to breastfeed in public (not that I'd want to). Who wants some creepy old man staring at your tit while you're trying to feed your kid?

As a breastfeeding mom, I have my tit out all the time. It has given me a whole new perspective on the sexual nature of breasts. They have a dual purpose: to nourish and to sell beer. I used to think of them as just a tool to get laid. Obviously, some people still feel that way.

So we have a new button now. I wonder if this one is okay?

Moron Takes Office

Saturday, January 20, 2001

It was difficult watching the presidential inauguration of that absolute idiot George Bush this afternoon. While the procession drove towards the White House I was wishing the car Bush was in was a hearse and his dead body was in it. His speech was apparently the shortest inauguration speech in history, perhaps because he's an illiterate twit. I think he might have reassured the American public a little at least if he'd told them that he's just a figurehead and his father will really be running things again. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. Then when he walked in the parade down the street afterwards I was thinking: "I hope someone has a gun. Now's your chance protestors, he's just walking down the street, shoot him now - oh please." I was also quite happy and proud to be a Canadian!

Why has the world fallen in love with poo?

This question is answered in The Colon Blow Project, one of the funniest things I've read in awhile. A girl and her male roommates take double doses of laxatives for a week, and live to tell about it. Rebecca should enjoy it, as she's obsessed with poo. I have a little chalkboard in my kitchen where we keep a running grocery list, and after she's been over to visit the word poo has inevitably been added to the list.

Ever feel insecure because you're not a
gorgeous celebrity? Of course you do! Don't feel so bad, they're just better than you and I. Farrah Fawcett still looks good, as you can see here in the picture on the right. (At least I think that's her... it could be my uncle Abe.) With her looks, it's no wonder she keeps posing in Playboy. And motherhood hasn't affected Uma Thurman's appearance one bit. If only we all had such perfect genes (not to mention high-paid stylists and airbrushing).

Pee Pee Punch

Friday, January 19, 2001

Why do some men expect you to swallow, and then act disappointed if you don't? The ammonia smell alone is enough to turn my stomach, I don't want that shit anywhere near my tastebuds.

Well, here's a new one: a man who claims to drink his own! I hate to tell you this Sean, but if you're drinking your own spunk for nutritious reasons, apparently the food value is equivalent to egg white. Damn, you could have had an egg McMuffin!

Smegma: You know you love it

Tuesday, January 16, 2001

I find it interesting that of the people who've posted to my circumcision question on one of our many message boards (for the most recent, see Foreskin: Vital body part or filthy smegma trap?), all are either men who are uncut or women who prefer their men cut.

What is it about a little extra skin that scares the hell out of North American women?

I'll admit I've only been with one man who was intact, and it was a miserable experience. There was a nasty incident during oral sex when his penis starting bleeding profusely (I wasn't even using my teeth). But is that any reason to write-off hooded men forever?

If someone suggested all newborn girls should have their clitoral hoods removed he'd be lambasted by feminists, so why do we continue to chop off that foreskin on fresh little boys? It just makes no sense.

Trying the Blogger thang

Monday, January 15, 2001

dreams caught in silver - photography by thomas cunningham

Just came upon this site. If you're offended by nudity, what the hell is your problem? Get over it and visit anyway.

The Daily Freakshow

Sunday, January 14, 2001

I'm one of the lucky people who has to take public transporation to work. Each and every day I get to meet and enjoy the company of some lunatic either talking to themselves or yelling at other people. Just this past week, I have encoutered a guy on the bus who was slapping himself in the face and saying: "My hand did that" and a woman laughing like a lunatic yelling: "you fucking jews," at everyone who got on the subway.

Each and every new freak I encounter helps strengthen my resolve to buy a car. Then all I'll have to deal with is the idiots who tailgate, cut you off on purpose and actually get out of their cars and approach you to beat you up. I hope I'm not repeating myself here - I HATE PEOPLE!

A Lukewarm Reception

Saturday, January 13, 2001

Ok - how miserable is this? My ex and I have been apart for almost three months now. He basically broke it off because I want kids and he doesn't. Well, he keeps phoning me and asking me out for drinks. I just tell him I'm busy.

Last night was the saddest though. He was in Mexico (a trip I was originally supposed to go on) for a week. I wasn't sure if he'd actually gone by himself or not but I found out that YES, he definitely had gone alone. He called me and not only did he tell me that he had tried to get in touch with me before he left to invite me to go on the trip with him - he then asked if I wanted to go for a drink with him.

It's funny how many thoughts can go through your head in three or four seconds. For a moment I felt sorry for him because he'd been in Mexico by himself for a week and then he phones his ex-girlfriend from the airport limo on his way home and asks her out - how fucking pathetic is that?

Then I remembered that when I first dated him he was married and I used to go through agonizing, gut-wrenching hell when he would be on tropical vacations with his wife while I sat alone in my apartment, wondering if he would throw me a bone - like a phone call while he was away.

After I started thinking about that I said: "No, sorry, I'm watching Sliders and it's a really good episode."

He responded curtly with: "OK, fine, I'll call you later this week (oh joy!)."

I hung up the phone, lit up a smoke, poured myself a glass of wine, threw my head back and laughed and laughed.

Revenge may be a dish best served cold but it's pretty good even when it's still lukewarm.


What a pain in the ass! I finally figure out I can do this blogger thing and digital rice is down.
I can't win. Well, it's been a great year so far. Cannot find server


I lost another pen one day this week. I collect pens and it drives me insane when I lose one. This one is a Cross Morph pen, in copper. The baby had been playing with it, and then it went missing. I searched all over the house and even frisked him. Finally, I gave up and took him upstairs for a bath and found the pen stuffed inside his dirty diaper.

It still smells like poop.

Monkeyshines

Friday, January 12, 2001

Wasn't there another American president famous for working with a monkey? I know he was Republican, but can't seem to remember his name. Damn, it must be Alzheimer's. Here's what our neighbours to the south consider leadership material.

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