My fellow Americans, Assorted Foreign Types and to The Russians, who couldn't be happy with their rutabagas, they got to go and rig the Ice Skating events to.

A fellow internet friend, Blarx, informed me of a horrible attack on my person that was done by RebeccaX, I was in a fury after hearing it, but sadly, I dont speak Canadian, so I had to wait until my crack team of linguists could translate it into good old American.

So here is my reply to her horrible speech, by the way if you want to read what she wrote, you can find it on her site, I would give the link, but I think everyone knows where it is, I mean they sure as hell whore the site out anywhere and everywhere.

Okay, lets take this step-by-step (That makes me laugh, cause it reminds me of that AWESOME Patrick Duffy show, I hope Cody is okay, he was totally cool.)

First she says that the Canadians were the best dressed team, Please, Im sure if Joan and Melissa had been allowed out of their cages for the day, that they would have totally dissed them, I bet they would say something like,"Where did they get their clothes, why from a bigger Army then even Canada's, The Salvation Army"

Hah, those bitches crack me up.

Then she goes into attack our flag, sure our flag was bigger, but that was because we are, like, way better than anyone else. I mean hello? We just wanted to let people know that our flag was still there, plus its the best looking flag in the world, I mean it has a great look to it, what does the Canadian flag have? A maple Leaf? What fear does that provide? "Ohhhh look at us, eh? We are going to fall off a tree and blow away."

Then Becca said this:

"Yes, of course what happened on September 11th was absolutely horrible, but why are American politicians acting like the U.S. is the only country ever to have been attacked in the history of the world and that no other atrocities on earth could equal that one, because it happened to them. "

Well for your information, Celine, American is in fact the only country to ever be attacked, I had my crack research department look into it, and it seems that in the history of men, there have only been 4 attacks of terror, and all 4 happened here, in the land of the free.

What are they, you ask?

Simple, The Oklahoma Bombing, The Pentagon attack, The trade Towers, and Loverboy.

Moving on, she then said this:

"George W. Bush also acted like an utter asshole, grimacing as the team from Iran entered the stadium. It was arrogant and disgusting."

I've already talked about this, but to say it again, sure I gave them the evil eye, I mean they are bad guys, but unlike the bad guys we like, Like Saudi Arabia, they dont have oil or anything we need, and so I will give them the mean look until America has a shortage on cactus or something.

And then she moans about the fact that America always gets the Olympics, we got them in 80,84,96 and 2002, of course we should get the Summer ones, I mean we rule at the summer games, and Canada sucks at them, but thats only because America Jr. doesn't have a summer, its pretty much, fall, winter, winter#2 and winter#3.

As for why we get so many, because other countries would rather come here, then go to Ethiopia for the games. Though I guess there could be some advantages to going to Ethiopia for the Summer games, like we could use them for javelins.

She then says she always roots for Canada, because they are the Underdog, and she likes to root for the Underdog, I agree with her here, I like Underdog to, best.superhero-dog.ever, I mean his suit was snazzy, his powers were cool, and his girlfriend was a real hot bitch.

And as for hockey goes, we always win the Stanley Cup, what with our awesome home-grown Talent like Wayne Gretzky, Mario Lemieux, and other hockey guys who play. Im not into Hockey much, for me its badminton or nothing.

So in conclusion, and I dont want people to think this is just a grudge since I used to be a correspondent for their site, I want to add something else to our new anti-drug campaign.

Not only does doing drugs support terrorism, but clicking on their horrid site also does...in other words:

Got up this morning.
Went to work.
Surfed the net.
Clicked on The Whe site
Helped a columbian drug lord kill a family of four.

I hope you're proud of yourselves.

dubya: The People's President

------------------- Im this many!!!!

Yeah I gave those no good baddies the frown of a lifetime, mess with me and mine, you get the frown, it's as simple as that.

I like the WHE page, I remember a time when I was able to write columns on it, and then they turned their back on Dubya.

I guess if you become President and threaten to rape the land of its natural resources, then suddenly you're the bad guy.

All they do now is poke fun at me, I mean sure, I'm the PRESIDENT OF THE WORLD and stuff, but I have feelings, if you cut me, do I not bleed? If you feed me a pretzel, do I not choke?

But I like the WHE girls, I mean, sure they are Canadian and all, and Canada is very close to being admitted in the Axis of Evil, but we've not found a benefit yet for needing an excuse to invade Canada, so I bear them no ill will, it's also cool that I hear they just hired Couzin Colin and are going to let him 'rap' on subjects that are important to teenagers, like sock hops and stuff.

And speaking of wrestling, I was going to be one before I became the owner of a oil company and a baseball team.

But the name JunkYard Dog was already taken

dubya: The People's President

------------------- Im this many!!!!