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More from the bowels of CrotchCannibal
 You wanna know what really galls me? People who fart at concerts. I mean, for fuck's sake, have the goddam decency to remove yourself to the bathroom or outdoor area before you unleash your toxic cloud. Please? It's not like I'm asking you to bend over backwards...just show a little common courtesy. How many times have you been standing in the thick of the surging crowd, head-bobbing to the pulsating rhythm, enraptured by the spectacle of live, loud music...and your nostrils are suddenly assailed by some worthless fuckhippo's unholy buttocks bellow? I can't stand it! I get so fuckin' pissed. I mean, if I was in a rock band, I wouldn't come to your place of work, pretend I really liked you, wait for everyone to gather 'round in the Break Room, and then hurl a death-bomb of stench over the entire fucking scene. Fuck no, you poofty humperfuck. So don't do it anymore! You hear me??? Geez. Whenever I cut an audible fart, it usually doesn't smell. It's the quiet, sudden-rush-of-air variety that really worry me. Whew! :: waves hand back and forth :: (that was a dramatic reenactment - I didn't actually fart)
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