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What, no cheezy poofs?
 Can Spaderboy live without snacky cakes? Just as McDonald's is introducing a "healthier" menu, featuring such fat-laden salads as the Crispy Chicken California Cobb, our dear friend Spaderboy is conducting an experiment that is sure to put Entenmann's Bakery out of business.
He's giving up junk food. Now anyone remotely familiar with Spader knows the man lives by the triumvirate of crap: sugar, grease and salt. So this experiment is, as he calls it, "Super Size Me in reverse." I loves me some cake and pie. I live for soda and chocolate. But I need to do this. I need to find out if my diet is making me crazy. I need to find out if my diet is sucking the life from me. This is not about the size of my pants. This is not about how good I would look in a bathing suit. None of that matters to me. I have a wife that loves me as is. No, this is about my soul. This is about regaining control of a like manipulated by the mass market corporations. This is about bettering my health. This is about me, inside and out. More than halfway through the experiment, Spader has met his goal and avoided processed foods (unless you count such vegetarian delights as Trader Joe's Soy Nuggets with whole wheat breading, and a traditional slice of wedding cake on his one year anniversary). Can he do it? Check with the monkey and see.
The Blonde Report
 Since it's my birthday today, I'm going to write a scatter-brained blog of random, useless thoughts and observations I've had over the last couple of weeks.
It'll be a dollar a litre by June: How sad is it that we're lining up in droves for gasoline when the price goes down to 82.5 cents a litre? Just a month ago, I was filling up my tank for 69 to 70 cents a litre then as soon as the warm weather hits it rises in price by 10 cents or more. There can't be a shortage of oil can there? Haven't the Americans stolen enough oil from the Iraqi's yet to supply us for another 10-20 years? I've never been great at baseball but... So I've been seeing this guy for a couple of weeks. Now, I'm an adult woman in my 30s, he's in his 40s and the furthest we have gotten is a peck on the lips at the door as he's leaving. I mean, shouldn't we at least be at first base by now? Nick Berg Beheading: I've heard lots of conspiracy theories about this, including some who think the Americans actually staged this themselves to take the focus away from the prisoner abuse scandal. Although I wouldn't put anything past those slimeballs in the White House, I truly doubt they'd go that far. One of my friends has seen the video but I don't plan to. I don't need nightmares, thank you very much. Happy Birthday Bex, courtesy of Dalton McGuinty: The Ontario provincial government announced its first budget today. Cigarettes go up $2.75 a carton, beer is up 45 cents a two-four. These price hikes are not pleasant but I could live with them if it wasn't for a new health care premium in which Ontario residents will lose anywhere from $300 to $900 per year out of their salaries. Anyone remember Dalton's campaign promise of "I won't cut your taxes but I won't raise them either." You fucking liar McGuinty, I hope the fire in your pants burns your balls off, that is if you actually have any. I'm ashamed to say I voted Liberal in the last provincial election. It's nice to be so popular: We Canadians should be proud when a red-necked war-mongering jackass like Bill O'Reilly is dissin' us. In a column he wrote on May 13th slamming Canada, the Fox (Propaganda), News Host included these choice words: "Over the past two decades, Canada has become committed to secularism and government entitlements. Subsidized medical care, decriminalization of marijuana, gay marriage, extensive welfare for newly arrived immigrants and an aggressively liberal Canadian Broadcasting Company have all become part of the culture." Yes, better to live in a country where the government imprisons people for 10-50 years for recreational drug use, can't separate church from state and its leader freely admits he makes his decisions based on what god tells him to do.
Everybody's got something to hide...
 Woman breastfeeds abandoned baby monkey
An Indian woman is breastfeeding a baby monkey found abandoned by its mother. Namita Das says she was spurred to suckle it by a combination of maternal and religious feelings, and a fetish for sharp teeth in her nipple area. She recently gave birth after many years of trying for a baby and felt the need to save the animal because she is a devotee of the Hindu monkey god Hanuman, who bears a striking resemblance to Michael Jackson.  The monkey was found almost dead by her woodcutter husband, Gepetto, in a forest clearing outside Chandrapur village in Tripura state.
The Pragati newspaper reports hundreds of people have turned up to see Das feed the monkey (and sneak a peek at her boobies). Local school teacher Ballabh Saha said: "We can't help feeling touched by her concern for the monkey. It's like she believes it is her own child, or perhaps one of the Olsen twins." link
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