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You're Terminated - Fucker!
 Being a Terminator junkie (I've seen the original at least 50 times), it's difficult to express how disillusioned and disappointed I felt 12 years ago as I left a movie theatre after watching Terminator 2: Judgement Day. All I kept thinking was: "OK, so if it doesn't happen, if Sara Connor and her son John stopped the end of the world and Judgement Day from happening, how can John Connor still exist? How could Kyle Reese have gone back in time and fathered him? Granted, it is a good movie, the outcome just frustrated the hell out of me. I've heard mixed reviews of the latest chapter in the Terminator saga, Terminator 3: Rise of The Machines - people seem to love it or hate it. After seeing it on the weekend, I admit I'm in the "love" camp. It was filled with tons of excellent special effects, a good amount of suspense and decent acting but above all Terminator 3 does exactly what it should do - it pulls all three Terminator stories together. Ten years have gone by since John Connor (played in this film by Nick Stahl) helped prevent Judgment Day and save mankind from a nuclear holocaust. Now 22 years old, Connor has kept himself "off the grid" - he has no home, no credit cards, no cell phone and is unemployed. He has made sure there is absolutely no record of his current existence. He can't chance being traced by Skynet - the highly developed network of machines that tried to kill him twice - before he was born and when he was a 12 year old boy. "All my life my mother told me the storm was coming, Judgment Day, the beginning of the war between man and machines. Three billion lives were vanished in an instant and I would lead what was left of the human race to ultimate victory. It hasn’t happened, no bombs fell, computers didn’t take control, we stopped Judgment Day...I’ve erased all connections to the past but as hard as I try I can’t erase my dreams, my nightmares. I feel the weight of the future baring down on me, a future I don’t want. So I keep running as fast as I can. Anywhere, nowhere..." Then, out of the future steps the T-X (Kristanna Loken), Skynet's most sophisticated cyborg killing machine ever, sent back through time to complete the job left unfinished by her predecessor, the T-1000. Connor's only friends are the Terminator (ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER), his mysterious former assassin and Kate Brewster (Claire Danes), someone he knew as a child who he seems fated to face the future with. Together, they have to escape the clutches of the technologically superior T-X and stop the looming threat of Judgment Day...or face the apocalypse and the fall of civilization as we know it. It's unfortunate they had to kill off Linda Hamilton's Sara Connor character (according to the story, she had died three years after the second movie) but the screenplay (written by John Brancato, Michael Ferris and Tedi Sarafian) is still fairly strong without her. And unlike the ending of Terminator 2, the conclusion of T3 is extremely satisfying and leaves the viewer with a lot to think about. It also opens the door to a Terminator 4 movie - looks like Arnold will "be back".
 (Sung angrily to the tune of House of The Rising Sun) There is a house in Scarborough They call it the 'Rising Fly' And it's been the ruin of many a young sick girl Oh God, I wanted to die My brother volunteered me To help him look after my grandma and her pup We were going to spend the night with her Then the son-of-a-bitch doesn't even show up Now the only thing I really needed Was a suitcase and a can of Raid And I tried to kill as many flies as I could But they were all determined to stay Oh, Mother tell your children That they will likely cry If they agree to spend a night in misery In the House of the Rising Fly With one foot in the kitchen And the other foot in the living room I tried to avoid the infestation But should have accepted the doom Well there is a house in Scarborough They call the 'Rising Fly' And it's been the ruin of many a young sick girl Oh God, I wanted to die
Hummer Envy?
 How small does your penis have to be in order for you to purchase a Hummer? I have seen these monstrosity's on Toronto's highways lately and have decided they have to be the most ridiculous vehicles on the road today. If you live in the city, why in the hell do you need one of these beasts? I own a small Hyundai Accent which gets an average of 31 mpg . The Hummer gets an average of 8 to 10 mpg. Considering the amount of greenhouse gases vehicles currently pour into the air everyday, why was General Motors even allowed to manufacture this vehicle? The environmental effects are bad enough - just try driving behind one of these bastards. It's next to impossible to see what's going on ahead of a Hummer and I find myself even longing for the days when I cursed-out mini-van and SUV drivers due to lack of a sight line. I have seen the type of men behind the wheel of these monoliths: overly-tanned, fat, old and rich enough to buy all their friends - I'll bet my ex is looking into getting one. Come to think of it, his dick was pretty tiny too.
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