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Heil to the Chief
 Um, I'm thinking maybe the Bush family are in need of a makeover. I mean, would you walk through a dark alley if you saw either of these people lurking there? No, you'd turn away cringing, and hold tightly onto your wallet. Am I the only one who thinks the pretzel incident is a cover-up for the real cause of Dubya's bruises? For sure Laura slapped him upside the head for getting lippy. I know I'd like to give him a wallop or two.
 He fell off the couch after choking on a pretzel -- what kind of bullshit is that? It must be hard enough living with someone so stupid, but when that someone is president, it must be near impossible to keep from hauling off and beating his ass.
And why the hell don't they do something about Bush's niece, Noelle, who was arrested early Tuesday after she allegedly tried to fill a false prescription at a Tallahassee, Florida, pharmacy?? This girl makes the Kennedy kids look good. Can't they have her knocked off or something? The 24-year-old looker was arrested at about 1:15 a.m. EST at a Walgreens drugstore and charged her with fraudulently obtaining a controlled substance. Police said she was attempting to pick up Xanax, a sedative used to treat anxiety disorder. The drug can make users feel drowsy and dizzy as it reduces nervousness and tension. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I'm proud to be a Canadian.
They're coming to take my baby away...
My first (and only) car is getting towed to the scrap yard today. She's been sitting in my parking space untouched for over a year, because I never had the heart to clean her out and have her shipped off. She's nothing fancy. Just a low-end Ford Escort. Although she was the first car in my family with air conditioning, and she was special to me. The Escort was such a popular car at the time, it was a bitch trying to find her in crowded parking lots when I would visit the city. The car was reasonable and reliable, and that's why I chose her. When I bought her, BeX named her Sexy Sadie. BeX liked her bright, cherry red colour, and despised her own shit-brown Dodge Omni (which I named Acme), that she bought used. Sadie was shiny and new, an '89 I bought in '90. Some people teased me because she was relatively cheap. Others because she was so bright. To me, she meant independence and great place to have sex. I can't count the number of times her steering wheel has hit my ass. After I was done emptying out Sadie's trunk, I tried starting the engine, for old time's sake. She started right away, and purred smoothly. I could always depend on her, even in the coldest winters in northern Ontario, she hardly ever gave me a problem. If I had the money too keep her insured, renew her plates and fix her brakes, I wouldn't have to say goodbye. My heart is heavy today. Sadie, you will always be my first.
What day is it?
For someone who's unemployed, keeping track of days, weeks and even months is difficult. Still, it's really no excuse for owning Five different calendars. Usually, I have two or three, which is what I did own, until today. The Toronto Maple Leafs calendar (which whe bought me for xmas) is in the kitchen, the Witches calendar is in my bedroom and the Toronto Firefighter's calendar is in my bathroom. This afternoon, I was in a mall with my sister and brother and walked by a place called Calendar Club. There were signs all over the place that said 75% off. So we decided just to browse a bit. There were so many to choose from that it took us half an hour in the store. The place had tons of cat and dog calendars, one called All About Smoking (which I was tempted to buy), celebrity calendars, travel calendars, sports calendars, etc. I almost walked out with From Earth To Space, pictures of the planet taken by a satellite, and a Marilyn Monroe calendar. As I walked to the cash register, yet another calendar caught my eye. It was called Victorian Paintings and included some of the most beautiful paintings I've ever seen. The painting on the right, featured in July, is called, A Roman Boat Race by Sir Edward John Poynter. So as I was about to put the Monroe calendar on the shelf, my brother grabbed it and bought it instead. I ended up with the Victorian calendar and the Earth To Space calendar. Hell, it only cost $8.50 for both of them. Where I'll put them in my house, I have no idea. But I guarantee you one thing, I'll always know what day it is!
Alien Toys And Butter Swans
by CrotchCannibal A couple things here: They say you can tell a lot about a society by studying the toys of its children. Toys are supposed to provide both enjoyment and education, and also make old folks trip. So I wonder what the toys of advanced space aliens would be like. Would they be equivalent to our cars, helicopters, and rocket ships? Would they play with fuzzy, colorful laser guns and subatomic particle colliders? Or would they just chuck rocks into ponds and squish space ants? I bet space alien toys are pretty durable, but they must be really expensive, too. What's the deal with carved butter figures? Why the hell would you take the time to carve a swan out of butter when a bunch of unappreciative idiots are only going to gouge huge chunks out of it and stab it while they laugh like drunken fools? If we continue to spend our precious time creating beautiful things out of food products, then why should we expect future generations to even care about more important issues like acid rain and deforestation? I realize there are plenty of people to accommodate those issues and still have enough other people to carve the butter stuff, but I think we'd be better off if everyone focused on global concerns instead of perishable dairy sculpture. Fuck me I guess.
Some poetry for you
Night sky's inlaid beads Pinpoint eternity’s path; Unlock enigma. - Jorel5 a heart is woven into black palaces spinning slivers and panoramic lies emotions are only worms in the molten soil sleeping beneath our infamous goodbyes - CrotchCannibal
I just found out my dad died. It was most likely a heart attack. The neighbours phoned my brother, after noticing he hadn't been taking in his mail since Friday. My brother found him lying in the hallway, just outside the bedroom. He'd been dead for a few days. The coroner said he went quickly. This week is the anniversary of my mother's death, nearly ten years ago. I can't believe it's been so long. I'm numb.
Philip Seymour Hoffman should be famous
 And he would be, if he looked like Tom Cruise.
What a good actor this guy is. Watching The Big Lebowski again the other night, I kept thinking how much I love the character, Brandt, played by Hoffman. Since BeX was over, I didn't bother checking the credits, because she tends to get impatient. Last night, before we popped in Boogie Nights, I was wondering if the guy who played Scotty was also the same one who played Lester Bangs in Almost Famous. BeX pointed to his picture on the DVD case, saying 'That's the guy from Big Lebowski!' Here I'd been making of point of identifying the guy, and didn't even recognize him from the night before. It makes me wonder why more character actors don't star in films. Most stars are bland. Related link? Tom Cruise Movie or Gay Porno?
Mo Fo
Stupid Blogger.
Eep
I get by with a little help from my friends.
W00T!
Not only does our friend not mind that we used her space, but she's going to host this site for as long as we want!! We're no longer homeless. I'm so happy, I've been crying all morning. We women are weird that way.
We just can't cut a break
Shortest. Move. Ever. If this keeps up, I'm going to go bitchcakes. I moved the entire site to Digital Rice over the past two days (read post below) including all our message board graphics and cam pages, and while I'm off the computer the damned site goes down. People on the board are bitching because there are no topic and reply buttons, etc. The cam pages are all dead, and everyone wanted their fix of skin I quickly uploaded the graphics to another space, and thankfully our faithful admin Eigh was around to help make things better. The board has been so busy lately, I don't know what I'd do without him. Now the space I uploaded the graphics to belongs to a friend, and I didn't get a chance to ask her before doing so. I emailed her right afterward, but still feel awful about using the space, even though (because?) she's the nicest person in the world. So I just visited the Digital Rice site and learned that they are cutting back on their free accounts, and now will only allow 10 MB. This site is small at 13 MB -- I spent the last two days paring it down to that size, so it would fit in the previously allowed 15 MB. Now all I can say is, it seems we are screwed.
Bye bye
 Well, here we are just over a year old and it looks like it's time for us to pack up and move the site again. The service at f2s will no longer be free at the end of February, and I've been searching out another free space to host our site (seeing as how BeX and I are impoverished, as usual).
It's damned near impossible finding freeservers anymore, much less one that allows remote linking, ftp, and no ads. Our time at f2s as been somewhat bittersweet -- the site is slow, it often cuts off during the ftp process, and we have more than occasional downtime. But it was free, damn it! So we didn't complain (much). If only we didn't have to pay for frivolous crap, like food and rent, we'd have it made. Unfortunately, at this point in our lives, we're struggling to keep up with the bills and debating whether prostitution would be all that bad. Mind you, after watching American Psycho last night, I doubt either of us will go the route of taking on a career as a truck stop hooker. I've been searching like a fiend for free space, and it was looking like we'd be forced to shut down the site altogether, unless we were willing to go back to (gag) Geocities. Then I remembered our old site at Digital Rice, which shut down for months, and was never reliable in the first place. Fortune may be smiling on us. It seems DR is back up and running, and has a huge waiting list. We, however, still have our old account. The space isn't large enough to contain this entire site, but we should be able to transfer a portion of the site anway. If you have us linked, please change to our domain name address at wehateeveryone.net (if you're not using it already). Hopefully, a couple of sorry Canadians have found an old, familiar home where we can rant. For awhile, anyway.
Future Bag Lady?
 I had been joking with friends and family over the holidays that I was going to end up living in a cardboard box. The way things seem to be going, I'm wondering if this will be my fate. I may not be posting on here very often as it's come down to this: my phone will be cut off on Monday if I don't pay the $270 owed on it. My bank account balance, which I just checked, is currently $2.76. Of course if my phone gets cut off, it also means my internet access is fucked. I've got like 20 cigarettes left and am going through the tins of change (it's mainly nickels and dimes) I've kept in my cupboard for years.
I've got credit collection companies calling my house constantly (that'd be one bonus of not having a phone) and less food in the cupboard every day. I'm just grateful that water is free. As a fresh faced journalism graduate in my 20s, I never would have imagined the stress and heartache I would go through in my 30s. These past three months of being jobless have aged me. I see it in my eyes and the rest of my face when I look in the mirror. I was born just after the baby boomers and am suffering as a result. I think my generation is known as the lost generation or something like that. I wonder how many of us are truly lost, I certainly feel like I am. For the first time in years, I am afraid of what the future holds.
Our Boyfriends Got Really Drunk This New Year
 As you can see, we brought the new year in style with our favourite hunks. BeX's boyfriend is on the right. We love that eighties hair. They are both wearing leg warmers. We just finished giving them blowjobs. Our New Year's resolution is that all our enemies get what they deserve, but we want to send love to our bitchcakes. Who the hell are these fucking idiots? These rich bastards from the yacht club really deserve to die. Just look at those weathly, fat pricks. Tommy Hilfiger can eat our assholes. You've got to love those pious churchgoing folk. We've got to go pull BeX's brother out of the pub now. You know those Irish. The everlovin' hulk. Hulk. Hulk. Happy New Year's to you and to Celine Dion's husband.
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