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Alien Toys And Butter Swans
by CrotchCannibal A couple things here: They say you can tell a lot about a society by studying the toys of its children. Toys are supposed to provide both enjoyment and education, and also make old folks trip. So I wonder what the toys of advanced space aliens would be like. Would they be equivalent to our cars, helicopters, and rocket ships? Would they play with fuzzy, colorful laser guns and subatomic particle colliders? Or would they just chuck rocks into ponds and squish space ants? I bet space alien toys are pretty durable, but they must be really expensive, too. What's the deal with carved butter figures? Why the hell would you take the time to carve a swan out of butter when a bunch of unappreciative idiots are only going to gouge huge chunks out of it and stab it while they laugh like drunken fools? If we continue to spend our precious time creating beautiful things out of food products, then why should we expect future generations to even care about more important issues like acid rain and deforestation? I realize there are plenty of people to accommodate those issues and still have enough other people to carve the butter stuff, but I think we'd be better off if everyone focused on global concerns instead of perishable dairy sculpture. Fuck me I guess.
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