PostSecret
See, now this is what blogs should be about: posting the innermost thoughts that haunt you day to day. The dirty laundry you are just dying to hang out to dry. PostSecret
Temptation
I feel like Frank from Hellraiser right now. The scene in Hellraiser II in which Frank can see these two naked women writhing under a sheet but then when he tries to touch them, they disappear. It's like these opportunties present themselves to me but then, inevitably, something happens to take it away. Maybe I'm just too damn hopeful or something. Whatever it is, I feel like I'm going to go through another year of torture.
Fuck, I need to get laid.
A New Decade
I was thinking the other day that my end of decade years always suck smelly balls. I really seem to come into my own at the beginning of a decade. I always weigh less, I always have a new, enjoyable job and I always seem to be able to get laid.
So it is with that realization that I actually welcome this, the beginning of my 4th decade of life. I weigh less than I did last year and I'm working hard on getting a new job. As for the getting laid, that will come once I truly feel happy again. And I know how I will find that happiness again - anonymity. I need to be able to pull into an anonymous apartment building parking lot and not be bombarded by bullshit.
I'm determined that the beginning of this new decade of my life will be as happy as the rest have been and for that to happen, I need to get my shit in gear and get my own place again. Maybe then I'll feel like my new decade has finally begun.
Two days away from the Big 4-0
And I'm still finding good reasons to hate people, such as:
1.) There is a surprise 40th birthday party for you and two of your friends aren't there because one person has told the person holding the party that "I won't go if they're invited." Whose birthday was it again? Oh yeah, mine.
2.) At the same party, as you're opening your gifts, your mother hands you a card and says: "We didn't get you anything but here's a card." Thanks, cheapskate.
3.) The next morning, you wake up hungover and get your period as an added bonus. Well, that's not really a reason to hate people, it's just a reason to hate life.
But then again, Whe, Mr. Whe and their kids were at the party - it brought tears to my eyes when Mini-Whe jumped out from the living room yelling my name - and my nieces and my sister and brother were there too, so all was not lost.
The big 4-0 is almost here and it doesn't feel as devestating as I imagined it would. It helps that I've dropped about 12 pounds since March - and I'm down to a size 9 for the first time in four years. And I can't tell you how many people have been shocked to hear I'm turning 40. Maybe people really aren't so bad afterall. Ah hell, who am I kidding, of course they are!
Fuck you Finkleman
Last night's season finale of The Newsroom was the most bizarre and boring pile of garbage I have ever seen on Canadian television. OK, admittedly I wouldn't put it on the same level as trash like Train 48 or Check it Out but it still stank like a garbage strike on a hot summer day.
Writer, director, creator and star of The Newsroom, Ken Finkleman (George), turned the usually acerbic, witty show into an animated dream episode where the characters discussed serious ideas about relationships and infidelity.
Just shortly before the episode aired last night, CBC showed a preview featuring dim witted anchorman Jim Walcott (played by Peter Keleghan) being told he was going to Kabul. His response: "Oooh, the Carribbean." It got me pumped for the finale and then that segment was mysteriously missing from the episode that aired.
I spent most of the half hour the show was on looking at my watch, wondering how much time this over-rated asshole was going to waste on this pathetic cartoon. As it turned out, he wasted 20 minutes on it, leaving about three minutes of air time for the regular characters.
Finkleman turned what could have been an excellent finale into an intellectualized, dark-themed episode. My tastes are a bit more lowbrow. I appreciate comedy and laughter, neither of which could be found on last night's season finale of The Newsroom.
Leave it to Beaver
Saturday, January 15, 2005
Check this out first before the next time you shave your clam: Muffy's World of Vagina Euphemisms! (STARMA.COM)
What's up with Jack Nastyface, though? Does it have something to do with Jack Nicholson's makeup when he played The Joker in the first Batman movie?
That's some gash on his mug.
The Week From Hell In Review
Saturday, January 08, 2005
After months of speculation about their relationship, Brad and Jennifer have split! Now maybe he will finally publicly acknowledge his feelings for me. Oddly enough, he hasn't answered any of the countless emails I've sent him.
Thank the Goddess for some good news because the rest of my week was a total bust. I should have realized that the nightmare I had on Tuesday night (about vampire-zombies and involving a familiar-looking huge white house that I've dreamt about many times) was a bad omen. I woke up in the middle of the night screaming and panting and absolutely terrified. Despite this, I went back to work on Wednesday feeling pretty good about the New Year. Yeah, I still hate my boss, but while she was away for the month of December, I had gotten myself pretty damn organized and was ready to tackle anything that came my way in January. Or so I thought.
I may as well throw all that planning and hard work into a fire because the other woman in my department quit the day I returned. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for her but the hell I will go through after she leaves makes me pretty damn sad and angry for myself. My co-worker joined the company just a little over a year ago. When her predecessor quit, it took my idiot of a boss four months to replace him. Those four months were four of the most stressful in my life.
I'm already being handed all of this woman's work while history repeats itself: I'm good enough to do all the work while my boss searches for someone else who'll probably only stay in the position for a year but I'm not good enough to be promoted.
Come on Brad, take me away from all of this!
Today's Weather Report is dedicated to my favourite hunky Canadian, Randomdef.
-1 Degree Celcius, Overcast
More Freezing Rain
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Goddamn it - there's supposed to be a mixture of freezing rain, ice pellets and 10 cm of snow coming our way tomorrow. Arghh!
Tonight's Weather Report -6 Degrees Celcius (windchill -13) - Overcast
Happy 2005 Fuckers!
As I worried about driving home today in the freezing rain (and ultimately deciding to just stay at Whe's for another day), I couldn't help but think about what a fucking idiot I was being. Considering people in Asia are standing by helplessly as the body count rises hourly from the killer tsunami's that hit the region the day after christmas, what in the hell was a little freezing rain?
Most of the film footage I saw on the Tsunami Network (a.k.a. CNN) seemed so fucking unreal that I kept reminding my brain that no I was not watching one of the many disaster films (like Deep Impact, The Day After Tomorrow, etc.) I'm so fond of, this was a real-life, horrible event that had really taken place.
Although it happened so late in the year, there's no doubt in my mind that it will be the main thing 2004 will be remembered for.
Tonight's Weather Report - 3 degrees Celcius and overcast.
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