Lumpfest 2004
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
Fucking Dentists: I just slept for almost 11 hours. I had my second and final round of gum surgery yesterday. My face is swollen again. When I told the dentist and his assistant that my face had swollen up after the first surgery, they didn't believe me. They kept asking me if I was sure and saying: "That's a first." WTF? I told them even my eye had swelled up. Fucking idiots.
I told the assistant that I wanted a prescription for Tylenol 3's this time. Last time, they told me to take Advil, which didn't help AT ALL. The assistant didn't want to give me a prescription. She said: "We don't give prescriptions for this." I said: "Well, you'll be giving me one." I wondered if she'd ever had the surgery done on herself - somehow I doubt it.
So the dentist finally came in and she told him I wanted a prescription, he said: "No problem, I'll give you some Tylenol 3's." He gave me a prescription for 20. I was so relieved.
Last November when I went through the first round, I shut my eyes but kept opening them every once in awhile during the procedure. At one point, I opened my eyes and saw blood all over the dentist's gloved hand. I wanted to throw up. This time, I kept my eyes shut during the entire procedure. Even though I wasn't on laughing gas, I felt hysterical and almost started giggling at one point.
The drive home is always interesting. My brother picked me up and because I'm not supposed to talk for a half hour, he kept purposely asking me a barrage of questions that I could only answer with a mumbled: "Umm hmmm." I felt like Billy Bob Thornton in Slingblade.
When I got home, the freezing on my mouth was wearing off, I could barely open my mouth to take a sip of water without being in pain. I took a total of three T-3's yesterday over about seven hours and I had horrible stomach pains just before I went to bed (even though I had eaten four or five pieces of bread and a bowl of soup) so I think I'll just take one T-3 at some point today, then later I think I'll get a "prescription" from a friend who makes house calls. I've rented a bunch of movies and the first seven episodes of The Sopranos, Season 4 and plan on lying on the couch staring at the TV for the next three days. And so, Lumpfest 2004 begins...
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