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Telus Mobility Can Kiss My Ass
 Upon awakening on Saturday morning I went through my usual routine: stumble downstairs to turn the coffee on, stumble back up the stairs to take a shower, dry off, pour coffee (with double cream, no sugar), light up smoke and turn on cell phone. After a couple of minutes, I wonder why I don't hear the usual beeping sound when my phone powers up, so I pick it up off the coffee table and all I see on the screen is a frozen hourglass. What the hell? I bought the damn phone less than three months ago so I was kind of surprised. I call their "client care" line and I'm told I'll need to get it repaired. Fuck. What a pain in the ass.
On Sunday I go to the Telus store, show them that my phone is frozen, take out my proof of purchase and I'm told they'll send it for repair but there's a $25 "fee" I have to pay. "But I have a warranty," I explain. "Whether or not you do, there is a $25 fee," the cashier re-iterates. Some warranty. Some service. What a piece of shit company Telus is. Then she asks me if I need a loaner phone as it will take 3-4 weeks to repair my phone. Well yes of course I'd like a loaner phone. "OK," she says. "We need a $75 deposit." Great, so I'm forced to shell out another $75 because I'm a Telus customer. Some warranty. Some service. What a piece of shit company Telus is. Later on in the evening, I dial a number on my lesser-quality loaner phone and get the message "This phone is not activated." ASSHOLES. So I try calling client care and I get the message "We're sorry, Telus Client Care is not available at the moment." What a piece of shit company Telus is. An hour or two later I try client care again and this time I actually get to speak to someone, whereby I am told they have no record of my bringing my phone in for repair and they had no idea I was using a loaner phone. "You people are well worth the $25 service fee," I told the guy, who had the personality of a gnat. Eventually, I get the phone activated. How long it will last before it breaks down is anyone's guess. You know, it just occurred to me that maybe my brain waves fucked up the phone, seeing as I'm a Slider. No matter what the cause, one fact remains - What a piece of shit company Telus is.
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