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The tag line says "So discreet for your dark panties!"

Monday, March 04, 2002

I can't help but wonder, "What the fuck is the point of this one?" Are dark panties complaining about being paired up with white pantiliners? It's not like they show through. And who the hell are you showing off your pantiliner to, anyway?

I find the notion of the pantiliner baffling anyway. Apparently they're ideal for: Everyday freshness, light days, tampon backup, and minor discharge. How does a whack of sticky cotton in your drawers keep you fresh? And if you're having discharge, chances are it's not going to match that black liner. It's probably going to be white, gooey cheese, and something better left to a doctor to treat. Why you'd want to highlight that discharge, I have no idea.

And what about those heavier flow days? I've seen nothing about a ultra-long maxi with wings for nighttime protection in black to match your favourite negligee. Black would make more sense during that time of the month, in my mind anyway. At least it would disguise the blood flow. It's not like most of us haven't had sex during menstruation. It's so much fun during that moment when you peel off your knickers, as discreetly as possible, and roll them into a ball before you toss them across the room, hoping he hasn't seen that big-ass white pad. Having a black mega-size pad might give that moment a little more cachet.

The absolute worst in feminine hygiene has got to be the thong pantiliner. Let's see.... a thong goes right up your butt crack. If you aren't feeling so fresh, why are you wearing undies that want to eat out your ass?

It's nice to know that the wings will keep this pantiliner in place while it's tossing my salad, but I just have one question. Does it come in black?

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