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That's JEZZ, not jizz

Thursday, May 31, 2001

Today's guest columnist answers the question: 'What Would J35U5 Do?'
(if his balls were bouncing around in a box)


Well I have taken it upon myself to write a post this very establishment, We Hate Everyone. I sat down and pondered for many hours just what I could write about and came up with nothing. So I continued to search deep into my soul. I began to probe my most inner feeling. Finally I decided that I must bring forth, to the public, my most embarassing and quite overpowering addiction. That's right, my addiction to JezzBall.



JezzBall can be found on the wonderful program The Best MicroSoft Entertainment Pack along with many other fun and addictive games. For those of you that don't know JezzBall is a game where a certain number of balls are bouncing around in a box. Your job is to block of 75% of the box. Each time a ball hits you in the process of blocking off a section of the box, you lose a life. In the first round you start off with two balls and the number increases by one every level after that. You also have the same amount of lives as there are balls. The more of the box you block in the more points you get. My high score is about 12,000 and I've gotten to around the 9th or 10th level. Supposedly there are 49 levels. The last one has 50 balls. For all your JezzBall needs check out this site.

Now despite how harmless this game may look, it is a wolf in sheep's clothing. Many times I stay up all night playing this game. My parents wake me up in the morning with imprints on my forehead from where I fell asleep on the keyboard. I am currently enrolled in a twelve step program and with the support of family and friends I hope to prevail over this debiltating addiction. I only tell you about my problem so that others will not end up like I have.

Now what if J35U5 had a webcam?

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