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Rip Her To Shreds
 With all this uproar started by Beltane's reviews (see Thursday, February 1 post below), we suddenly find ourselves being lumped together with the Badass Chicks site, even though our only affiliation is that we're on their topsites list. I'd never even read BAC until I read Joe Rogan extolling their virtues when I went to his site to follow an interesting thread on the message board about circumcision.
Beltane has been man enough to give us credit for not throwing a hissyfit over his review, but some others are pissing and moaning (one says we fashion ourselves to be "bad ass bitches.") Since we're getting flak, I had to ask myself: Do I even qualify as a badass chick? I decided to visit their site and find out. The first section I checked out was the staff photographs: apparently the gallery gets more hits than any other part of the site. What immediately came to mind is I probably have too much body fat to be a badass chick. Judging by their pictures, BACs are all slim and I'm more of a well-rounded woman. I'm not whining that they're thinner than me, but the only staff members depicted all fit into the usual cookie-cutter image you see in fashion magazines. Another thing is BACs seem to wear a lot of leather and lingerie, while jeans and t-shirts are more my style. I do have a leather coat which is more than 10 years old, but that's about it. The only things on me that are pierced are my ears. When it comes appearance, I don't fit in. That's one strike against me. I skim over the carnal fantasies section, which reads more like a fantasy for men than for women. It's a predictable piece about a woman gift-wrapping herself while waiting for her man to come home from work so she can give him a blowjob. More interesting are some of the readers' replies, especially the person who describes how she pleases her man by letting him pop out one of her eyes and skull-fucking her. "His penis swells and he spurts cum into my head. It's such a big load of jizm that some of it leaks out my nose, but dribbles down into my waiting tongue." Hilarious! These days, I'm lucky to get a quick fumble and grope on the hallway floor before the baby wakes up. And before he was born, my bedroom games never included Christmas wrap and referring to my vagina as "my sex." Strike two against me.  A special Valentine's Day section promises to offer "unique" gift ideas, such as toiletries, perfume and jewelry. On the plus side, the article suggests that a man actually research his woman's taste in these items before buying her a gift, but I'd rather see gift ideas on what to buy men. Maybe this is because I'm fairly easy to buy for, and have a hard time coming up with romantic gifts for my husband. (Unless you consider a two-four romantic.)
Split Decision is a he said/she said advice section. The one I read was about shaven pussies and both the Dude and Chick came to the same conclusion: hairy=bad. I agree that sex feels great when you are shaven, but the itching when your pubes grow back is unbearable. According to the Chick, this itching goes away once you've been shaving for awhile. This was good information although, when you're a mom, it's hard to find the time to even shave your legs. I guess that's strike three. I'm out. Like any other woman's magazine, BAC is filled with tons of ads, and features the usual horoscopes and recipes for sickly-sweet cocktails. Some bits are all right, but on the whole I found it no different from Cosmo and pretty boring. A recurring theme is how to keep your man happy, and it always comes down to the standard give him blowjobs and stay skinny spiel we've heard a thousand times before. (Men enjoy head? I had no idea!) BAC seems to be marketing itself more to men than women, which makes me wonder why they don't have any ads for hentai babes and sexy Lolitas. Their topsites list is good; it's where I discovered the link for Steel Girl, which is truly a fun site. I much prefer the Bad Ass Breastfeeding Babes. They come in all shapes and sizes, they stand up for what they believe in and don't give a shit about what other people think. Isn't that what being badass should be all about?  Wild Gift: I'd like to take this opportunity to thank all of you who voted for us in the E/N Top 100 list. For the first time, we've actually made it to the top ten! Rebecca is so thrilled, she's going to scan more goofy pictures of herself to share with our dear readers. If you're lucky, she might even share the pic she took of herself skinny dipping in a hotel pool. She was so drunk at the time, she didn't remember taking the picture and got quite a shock after getting the photos developed. I'm hoping she doesn't read this, because she might kill me for sharing the information.
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