 |
| home | email whe | email bex | g*book | forum | bexcam | whecam | cams |
|
Pruno: It's not what you might think
You learn something new every day. My new thing for today is how to make Pruno, a vile mix of fermented fruit salad and ketchup made by prisoners to get really, really high. Ask that little prison bitch you've had your eye on to split one of these with you and he'll be tossing salads like the caterer at a weight-loss convention. A lot of you don't bother following links (I know I don't), but you have to read the recipe. It's not just funny; it's informative and vomit-inducing. And couldn't we all stand to lose a few pounds before X-Mas?
Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?
My boss is away on vacation in ANOTHER COUNTRY until January 4th. Today was one of the neighbour's birthdays. There were about 10 of us sitting around a table, drinking, smoking and anticipating a joke the birthday boy's friend was about to play on him. About two hours after I arrived, their doorbell rang, his girlfriend got up to get it, then she called his name. The birthday boy gets up from the table and starts walking into the living room, where he encounters a really big policeman, who his girlfriend has just let into the house. "I understand the vans parked on the street outside belong to your guests," the cop says to him. "And I smell something too, is that marijuana?" The cop then took the neighbour's left wrist in his hand and slapped a cuff on it. The birthday boy was dumbfounded and in shock, letting the cop put his right arm behind his back without a struggle of any kind, cuffing his other hand and locking both hands in place. As I watched, I imagined he was thinking: "I'm getting arrested on my birthday, fucking great." Then the birthday boy's girlfriend cued some disco music, the cop pushed the handcuffed neighbour into a chair and started dancing and taking off his clothes. Every witness to this event was in hysterics. Most of us laughed still for hours afterward. In the last couple of days, I've had a couple of really shitty things happen to me and holy shit did I ever need to laugh like this. As of December 24th, I'm off work until January 5th. Sometimes, life can be shitty, and sometimes it just turns around. Funny how that can happen, huh? And right when you need it. Maybe there really is a goddess up there looking out for me.
|
