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Tuesday, April 27, 2004

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Ancient Greece Never Looked So Good

Monday, April 26, 2004

Troy is a movie I've decided I have to see, for the man meat alone. It stars Brad Pitt, who in my mind is the best looking man (besides Mel Gibson) ever put on earth.

Orlando Bloom, another hottie, also stars in this film, supposedly based on historical fact. The premise is that Paris, Prince of Troy (Bloom) steals Helen (Diane Kruger), Queen of Sparta away from her husband, King Menelaus (Brendan Gleeson). The result of this action causes a 10 year war between Troy and Sparta.

Brad sure as hell buffed up for this film, his body has never looked so hot. Apparently, he reluctantly quit smoking to train for the physically demanding role of Achilles.

"I had to quit smoking," Brad told Cinema magazine when asked about the hardest part of getting ready for the Trojan war epic.

"The withdrawal was so hard that I was ready to kill," he said.

Troy opens in theatres on May 14th, just in time for my birthday.


Days of Whine and Roses

Thursday, April 22, 2004

EZboard seems to be down (what a SHOCKER!) so I've set up a temporary board at proboards.

Geek Tragedy

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

Baby girl GimliWhy is it that when I ask my son to put his pants on, he wails at me as if he's being punished?

We've had gorgeous weather lately, but I'm having a hell of a time getting both kids co-ordinated to leave the house at the same time. As I put clothes on the one, the other starts stripping. If only we lived on a tropical island, they could run around naked all the time.

Of course, with my luck it would turn into a whole Lord of the Flies debacle with Mommy's head posted at the end of a stick. Or was that Apocalypse Now? Either way, I end up decapitated and surrounded by savages.

The horror. The horror.

My son has been practising archery and sword combat because he has turned into a Lord of the Rings freak (or is that geek?). In his fantasies, he is Aragorn, Daddy is Gandolf, I am Legolas (which makes me feel so pretty!) and his baby sister is Gimli, because barring the dog, she is the shortest. And really, what little girl doesn't dream of being a hairy troll?

Cute braids, though.


Movie Reviews

Sunday, April 18, 2004

I watched a lot of DVD's while I was off sick from work, here's what I thought of them.

Braveheart: Awesome - one of the best films I've ever seen. It made me laugh and cry and root for my Scottish ancestors to rip the heads off of every one of those bloody Englishmen! My brother convinced me to rent this and I'm damn glad I listened to him. Now I want to buy it. I've also determined that Gladiator is a total ripoff of this film.

Kill Bill Vol. 1: Excellent - the action scenes and the whole revenge plotline was thoroughly enjoyable. I would recommend this film to anyone. Vol. 2 is supposed to be even better and I can't wait to see it.

Turbulence: Poor - the only thing this movie has got going for it is Ray Liotta. I was rooting for him to axe Lauren Holly's head off at the end of this movie.

Planet of The Apes: Great - this is one of my all-time favourites, I had considered renting the re-make (which I've seen twice) but why watch the re-make when you can view the far-superior classic? Get your stinkin' paws off me you damn, dirty ape!

True Lies: Good - I've always enjoyed this film and hadn't seen it in years. Great action and some funny scenes thrown in, thanks to Tom Arnold.

The Sopranos Season 4: I can't believe I watched the whole season in the space of four days. It was terrific as always. The highlight for me was when Christopher's girlfriend, confronted by the FBI, pukes all over them in a boardroom.

Tim: Poor - I bought this movie for $5 at Walmart a couple of weeks ago, mainly because it stars Mel Gibson. Based on a story by Colleen McCullough, this could have been a much better film. The acting was decent but the music in the background was absolutely horrid.

It's back to work for me tomorrow. How the hell I'm going to get up at 5:30 in the morning all week is beyond my comprehension!

Lumpfest 2004

Wednesday, April 14, 2004

Ow.Fucking Dentists: I just slept for almost 11 hours. I had my second and final round of gum surgery yesterday. My face is swollen again. When I told the dentist and his assistant that my face had swollen up after the first surgery, they didn't believe me. They kept asking me if I was sure and saying: "That's a first." WTF? I told them even my eye had swelled up. Fucking idiots.

I told the assistant that I wanted a prescription for Tylenol 3's this time. Last time, they told me to take Advil, which didn't help AT ALL. The assistant didn't want to give me a prescription. She said: "We don't give prescriptions for this." I said: "Well, you'll be giving me one." I wondered if she'd ever had the surgery done on herself - somehow I doubt it.
Oh no, my face didn't swell at all after my first surgery!

So the dentist finally came in and she told him I wanted a prescription, he said: "No problem, I'll give you some Tylenol 3's." He gave me a prescription for 20. I was so relieved.

Last November when I went through the first round, I shut my eyes but kept opening them every once in awhile during the procedure. At one point, I opened my eyes and saw blood all over the dentist's gloved hand. I wanted to throw up. This time, I kept my eyes shut during the entire procedure. Even though I wasn't on laughing gas, I felt hysterical and almost started giggling at one point.

The drive home is always interesting. My brother picked me up and because I'm not supposed to talk for a half hour, he kept purposely asking me a barrage of questions that I could only answer with a mumbled: "Umm hmmm." I felt like Billy Bob Thornton in Slingblade.

When I got home, the freezing on my mouth was wearing off, I could barely open my mouth to take a sip of water without being in pain. I took a total of three T-3's yesterday over about seven hours and I had horrible stomach pains just before I went to bed (even though I had eaten four or five pieces of bread and a bowl of soup) so I think I'll just take one T-3 at some point today, then later I think I'll get a "prescription" from a friend who makes house calls. I've rented a bunch of movies and the first seven episodes of The Sopranos, Season 4 and plan on lying on the couch staring at the TV for the next three days. And so, Lumpfest 2004 begins...

Horror story from the 401

Monday, April 12, 2004

I had the drive from hell home from work tonight. I left at my usual 4 p.m., humming a tune to myself as I wrongly assumed that because it is Easter Monday, there would hardly be any cars on the road. The morning drive was a breeze.

Of course, as soon as I hit the Pickering area, all hell breaks loose. Apparently, there had been a huge accident somewhere in Ajax and only one lane of traffic was getting through.

So I meandered my way along the 401 parking lot thinking the whole time "Fuck, I hate other people," and of course just as the traffic starts moving, some idiot broad with her three kids in the car cuts me off and I almost plow into her. What the fuck is wrong with people, driving like maniacs when their kids are with them?

I ended up getting home about 6:30 p.m. I really hate driving.

The Boys Are Back In Town!

Sunday, April 11, 2004

The gang at Sunnyvale

A Canadian Classic Returns: The much-anticipated Season 4 premiere of Trailer Park Boys airs tonight on Showcase at 9 p.m. When we left them last season, Julian, Mr. Lahey and Randy were starting prison terms (due to Ricky's heist of an ATM machine) and suprisingly, Ricky avoided arrest and was made the new Sunnyvale Trailer Park Supervisor.

Considering Mr. Lahey was vowing to kill Ricky when he got out of jail, I can't wait to see his reaction to the new management at the park.

We Canadians will no longer be the only ones enjoying The Boys. On Thursday, April 15th at 9 p.m. Trailer Park Boys makes it's U.S. premiere on BBC America starting with Episode 1, Season 1. I wonder if Americans will take to this show like we Canadians have?

The Battle of Ontario

Monday, April 05, 2004

GO LEAFS GO! For the fourth time in the last five or six years, The Leafs face the Ottawa Senators in the opening round of the NHL Playoffs. The first three meetings were disastrous for the Senators and they haven't beaten The Leafs in a playoff match-up yet.

In one sense, this is a good thing, because The Leafs don't usually have a problem eliminating Ottawa. On the other hand, as much as many Leaf fans malign the Senators, they are my second favourite team and I would prefer it if they lasted more than one round in the playoffs. C'est La Vie - when any team is playing my beloved Leafs, I want them to be crushed into dust.

The Sens did not look good at all on Saturday night, where the blue and white romped all over them with a 6-0 win and although the game was in Ottawa, you could hear chants of "Go Leafs Go". When The Leafs scored, the crowd roared. Everytime Sens Captain Daniel Alfredsson touched the puck, Leaf fans booed him. So really, it's like The Leafs have a home ice advantage for seven games.

I think my boys are going to take this series in five or six games. The players who will make a difference will be goaltender Ed Belfour (as usual) and defenceman Brian Leetch.

First game of the best-of-seven playoff series is Thursday night.

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